Hey, Cool Kids, and welcome back to the blog that's been more postponed than my dad leaving the line at Walmart!
Let's get into that moderately comedic shipping drama!
The Closet Case (Stephenie x Ruben, or Stuben)
Wait, so is this an actual thing? Because nobody has, like, really confirmed it.
I think this is a CANON couple? Might want a second opinion on that one, palaroonie.
The shipping scene wasn't looking good for a long while, folks. I said to myself one fateful Sunday afternoon whilst listening to Candy Store from Heathers for about the 50th time when it dawned on me, "Well, shit, romance is really dead, ain't it?". So, that was that. But then my observant shipper's eye spotted it from the distance; a looming hope on the horizon, and perhaps an oasis in a desert. But I couldn't really tell. Because, like, it wasn't obvious.
I didn't wanna be rude. I mean, you can ship people for fun, sure. But were they really something I could go shipping around. Like, "Aight, they got the chemistry". But, also, "Aight, do they really got the chemistry?". I didn't know. But like the bold explorer I am, I took the damn picture. But I wasn't feeling it. Like, I;ve never seem them even hold hands. So it couldn't be canon. Right? Like, "Dude, I'm freakin' out here. Is this canonical? The levels of deduction I'm putting forth to solve this Sherlockian nightmare is harder than any of those dead-end IB classes I keep hearin' 'bout."
Then it hit me like a brick through a Martin Luther King's window; that was a really shitty analogy.
So then it hit me like a normal brick. Through a normal window.
The Obvious Choice (Stephenie x Cross Country Poster, or Stephester)
There we go! Now it's all coming together.
There is no way this ship can't be CANON. All those who protest to it are Starlie lovers who can't face the music.
Oof. Ain't it perfect, folks? Tell me if you've ever seen something more adorable. It's a trick question; you ain't ever seen such a thing. Doesn't she look happy? Doesn't she look happy regardless of the fact that the original photo contained that garbage boyfriend Ruben? I mean, don't get me wrong: I love the dude. May just marry him myself. But he ain't no Cross Country Poster, no mama!
Now, folks, let us reflect just real quick; what we got here is something real good. And right before the Homecoming dance too. So, then, we gotta' ask ourselves, "Where will I be Friday night?". If you wanna hear something good, you gotta' say to yourself "How can I be more like the one and only Cross Country Poster?" or "How can I sweep that special someone off their feet like a Cross Country Poster?" or "I'll just go with a friend, which is perfectly normal". Just don't pick the latter; because your friends ain't no Cross Country Poster.
