Hey, Cool Kids, and welcome to the blog that enables people's self wallowing!
Let's get right into the existential dread that is our finite lives in which serve little purpose in this great big universe of ours! ships!
Death Is The Only Option (Rowan x The Suffocating Despair of Existence)
As we can see, Rowan (middle) is receiving consolation from his friends.
Let me tell you all a tale; a tale in which hearkens to the weary heart and plays to the song of the hopeless. Life is a real bitch sometimes, yes, and throws all sorts of unexpected turns our way. One moment your frying up an omelette and the next your grandmother died of cancer. But stop being a pansy and listen up for a moment; because no matter how awful your life may seem, at least you aren't in a relationship with life.
Rowan (left) and his mistress, Life (right).
Life is an insufferable woman who by all means a terrible, awful person. And yet, somehow, it was as if Rowan and Life were just meant to be together. No other man has put up with life like Rowan has been. Who bought Life flowers? Rowan. Who took Life to the ER just because her stomach hurt a little? Rowan, you prick.
But yet Life never seems to appreciate Rowan's services of affection. In this ship, we see that Life only seems to take. And when she does give, it's to bestow her dreadful shower of suffering upon a poor, unsuspecting Rowan. She makes him tired. She scares away all his friends. She takes away every bit of happiness in his life until he has nothing left but the thin strip of love in which remains in his crushed, broken shrivel of a heart.
But, shit, they are perfect for one another.
Rowan (left) attempts to give a nice little kiss on the lips to Life (right), but instead receives a mouth full of tongue that is attempting to kill him by asphyxiation.
Now, you must be asking yourself, "How did poor Rowan ever come to be such a useless degenerate who let's himself live in this abusive, yet somehow perfect, relationship?"
That sad shmuck used to be the boyfriend of a beautiful girl. Sometimes, every so often, Rowan can catch a glimpse of her still from the corner of his eye. It is said that the immense sigh his heart makes at this sight would be enough to power the entire Chinese Private Sector for the next couple of eons.
Good things, it would seem, aren't meant to last. He had his heart broken into an uncountable number of small, fragile pieces. And so, when he was contemplating his situation while walking through a park one afternoon, he spotted a young woman out of the corner of his eye. He knew that now, in his time of sorrow, he would have to make do. Since then, him and his salty seductress Life have been history.
